… well, he is now, at least.

Some explanation: I’ve been in a sickly state all week and somewhere in my NyQuil-induced haze from my mind drifted back to Jeff Goldblum watching me poop.

Yes, that’s right.

Maybe you’ve come across this poster, which was a popular mainstay in bathroom stalls while I was in college. You’d enter, close the door and all of sudden you see this:


Fun and games, for sure.

So while I haven’t been drinking beer all week in my never-ending attempt to kill off the germs attacking my body, my mind has drifted to what’s sitting in my fridge. As my mind often does, it continued drifting from there to obscure and strange places because I have the attention span of a 5-year old and the imagination of a juvenile 13-year old.

Here, I present you with my own take on this Jeff Goldblum phenomenon, but with a beer-centric twist. I encourage you to save, share, print and post however you’d like. I hope there’s a laugh in here somewhere. Just left click on each image to get the full-sized version.

Greg Koch


Jim Koch


Sam Calagione

(drinking a beer never sounded so dirty)


Garrett Oliver 1


Garrett Oliver 2

(I couldn’t help myself because of this pic)


… and we can’t leave out Gambrinus, unofficial patron saint of beer!


Requests? Send ’em my way.
+Bryan Roth
“Don’t drink to get drunk. Drink to enjoy life.” — Jack Kerouac


  1. ROFL! I hope you feel better! But then again if this is the kinda stuff that you come up with then you are being attacked my micro organisms we might need to keep you under siege.
    I saved each of those to my desktop and Reddit is about to get attacked.


    1. Glad you liked them! I just wish I had more bizarre pics to work with, but these will do. That Greg Koch picture was good inspiration.

  2. New life goal: Get famous enough to have my portrait lampooned by Bryan.

    I think I’m going to put the Sam Calagione one up in my beer laboratory (aka closet). Thanks for the Benzodiazepine fueled fun.

    1. I like to imagine my utter lack of sanity at times leads to something worthwhile.

      1. If not for a lack of sanity, I wouldn’t have a blog, and we would have never met.

        Crazies unite!

        There are a lot of negatives in the first sentence.

  3. Love it! Feel better Bryan. Your beer is lonely and needs your love and affection.

    1. I’ve been telling it not to worry. It just wants to hug my liver so much!

  4. LMAO. Oh that St Gambrinus. There’s always trouble afoot when he’s around. And there is something totally memeable (is that a word, is now) about that Garret Oliver picture. It makes hear Barry White in my head, saying “Hey Nowwwwww”.

    1. He’s our first. Our last. Our everything.

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