My Mount Rushmore of Beer


Set high above our bars and breweries, sculpted in the granite of personal history, lies a metaphorical place that stands the test of time as a “shrine of beerocracy.”

It’s Mount Rushmore … only my repurposed symbol of fermented freedom. No longer do Washington, Jefferson, Roosevelt and Lincoln emblazon its side, but rather my own heroes, representing the people who have shaped my past and influenced my future with beer.

Today, along with a collection of fellow Mid-Atlantic beer bloggers, I’m sharing who should be remembered for the impact they’ve made on my beer drinking world. So let me introduce you to the dignitaries of my Mount Rushmore … of beer.

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… well, he is now, at least.

Some explanation: I’ve been in a sickly state all week and somewhere in my NyQuil-induced haze from my mind drifted back to Jeff Goldblum watching me poop.

Yes, that’s right.

Maybe you’ve come across this poster, which was a popular mainstay in bathroom stalls while I was in college. You’d enter, close the door and all of sudden you see this:


Fun and games, for sure.

So while I haven’t been drinking beer all week in my never-ending attempt to kill off the germs attacking my body, my mind has drifted to what’s sitting in my fridge. As my mind often does, it continued drifting from there to obscure and strange places because I have the attention span of a 5-year old and the imagination of a juvenile 13-year old.

Here, I present you with my own take on this Jeff Goldblum phenomenon, but with a beer-centric twist. I encourage you to save, share, print and post however you’d like. I hope there’s a laugh in here somewhere. Just left click on each image to get the full-sized version.

Greg Koch


Jim Koch


Sam Calagione

(drinking a beer never sounded so dirty)


Garrett Oliver 1


Garrett Oliver 2

(I couldn’t help myself because of this pic)


… and we can’t leave out Gambrinus, unofficial patron saint of beer!


Requests? Send ’em my way.
+Bryan Roth
“Don’t drink to get drunk. Drink to enjoy life.” — Jack Kerouac